just dance

Holy, You are still holy
Even when the darkness surrounds my life
Sovereign, You are still sovereign
Even when confusion has blinded my eyes
Lord I don’t deserve Your kind affection
When my unbelief has kept me from Your touch
I want my life to be a pure reflection
Of Your love ...

So I come into Your chambers
And I dance at Your feet, Lord
You are my Savior
And I’m at Your mercy
All that has been in my life up to now
Belongs to You
You are still holy
-Rita Springer

Last night, this song moved me. I'm sure this song was probably written in the midst of more pain and suffering that I have ever experienced - yet confusion is confusion. As I wonder where my life is going and why God has allowed me to live on this earth, it's comforting to hear Rita sing that in presence of darkness and confusion, her solution and resolve is to enter His presence and dance. Not to work harder or create some master plan to figure things out. God is holy regardless of circumstance and will carry us through to the end.

So just dance.

rusty

It's been a while since I shared about Jesus with someone. And I'm not saying this out of guilt nor because I need to meet some Jesus-sharing quota. It's because when I met Annie after yoga class on Monday night I was speechless when she asked me, "Are you religious?". She must have asked because she saw the Crazy Love book I was carrying. My mouth refused to move. My mind grasped for words to explain my relationship with God. I wanted to overflow with words of the majesty and awesomeness of the Father. I wanted to convey that I was not religious - I was not chained by rules and regulations, but that I had full satisfaction and freedom in Christ. That I had an amazing Lord and Savior that loved and accepted me even though my fallen nature was to reject Him over and over again. I desired for Annie to know the amazing love that God had for her. My thoughts further tangled as I struggled for a way to share all of this without sounding like a self righteous, hypocritical prick that so many people associate Christians with.

As I processed all of this, it felt like time had stopped. Annie searched my face, waiting for a response. I finally mumbled, "I don't like the word religious because it....connotes obligation." Good one, Lisa. Way to start out by dissing her words. You are so awesome. "I...grew up in church, and I'm a Christian. I'm really involved now...you could say it's my way of life." Oh...Lisa, you are an idiot. Annie tried to follow my train of thought and responded, "You must really like it because it grounds you." I managed to say, yes. And then she walked out the door.

I was so consumed with explaining Christianity the right way. In a way that Annie wouldn't be offended. In a way where she would see Jesus in a way that she had never heard before. In a way that would obliterate all negative stereotypes she ever had about Christianity. As a result, I was left with garbage. I was rusty, yes. That was obvious. But upon reflection, I was reminded that God is greater than my piddly, rambling words. Next time I hope I simply share...Jesus. And not be so concerned about what the other person may think. And let God say the rest.